Boy Talk
by SYF
Summary: Tatsumi and Tsuzuki have an interesting chat one night. Fourth in the Amethyst and Sapphire Arc.


**Boy Talk**

It was late evening in the realm of Meifu, the world of the dead. A soft breeze caused the sakura trees to rustle. The full moon was bright tonight, casting strangely shaped shadows across the land. The lake was calm except for small ripples, which disturbed the surface from time to time. Most people had gone home already, having finished their work for the day. But there was still light from a lone office window in the Enma Division. And that office belonged to a shinigami known as Seiichirou Tatsumi.

Asato Tsuzuki walked along the hallway with a bounce to his steps. He was humming a cheerful song underneath his breath. He looked down at his watch and saw to his surprise that it was eight o'clock already. And to the best of his knowledge Tatsumi was still working. With no one around to see him Tsuzuki dropped his cheerful façade and sighed warily. It had been a strain on him having to pretend to be cheerful during the day. It was only now that he could truly be himself. If he had dropped the act for even a second Hisoka would know instantly and so would everyone else. And if that happened there would be questions, questions that Tsuzuki didn't really want to answer. 

Tsuzuki sighed again, this time wistfully. He thought longingly on his bed. At time of the night he would normally be at his apartment with Hisoka or having dinner with Watari or Saya and Yuma. Unfortunately none of those options were open tonight. Hisoka had disappeared somewhere muttering something about a dinner he was having with someone, which Tsuzuki correctly interpreted as a date. And when he had called, Watari, Saya, and Yuma were all out. And he was definitely not going to visit Wakaba while Terazuma was around. So that left Tatsumi. Tsuzuki didn't like being alone at night, not until he was too tired to even think. But even so Tsuzuki was hesitant about visiting Tatsumi. He wanted to visit Tatsumi, but he wasn't sure he'd be welcome. Seeing as how little the two ex-partners rarely visited each other out of the blue.

Usually Tsuzuki liked to have little to do with his ex-partner outside of office hours. It wasn't that he didn't like Tatsumi. But being alone with the kagetsukai brought back many painful memories that he didn't want to have to deal with. However, tonight, aside from the fact that there was no one else to keep him company, he desperately wanted Tatsumi's presence. While it was uneasy being around Tatsumi, at times Tsuzuki would slip back to being dependant on his ex-partner. There were very few people Tsuzuki felt safe around. One was Hisoka, because he understood. And the other was Tatsumi, because Tsuzuki knew that the shadow master would never let anything happen to him. But tonight he didn't want to be understood, he just wanted to feel safe. 

He came to a stop just outside Tatsumi's office. The door was open allowing him to see that his guess was correct. Tatsumi was still hard at work. Tsuzuki leaned against the doorway and watched, silently contemplating what it was about this particular person that made him feel safe. Tatsumi was mean to him, treated him like a child, and kept calling him an idiot. But at the same time Tsuzuki knew that Tatsumi did care for him in his own way. And he knew that Tatsumi was kinder and gentler than a lot of people could have guessed. And he knew that whatever happened he could rely on the shadow master to keep him safe. How he knew that he couldn't say, but he knew it nonetheless. And this perhaps was why Tsuzuki wanted his company tonight of all nights. 

As he kept watching Tatsumi's head rose to look out of the window then back at the paper he was reading, not once noticing that there was someone at his doorway. Tsuzuki heard Tatsumi sigh softly then speak to himself, "You're a very strange man Seiichirou Tatsumi."

Tsuzuki smiled and knocked on the wooden doorframe. "Er…Tatsumi?" he said hesitantly. The secretary looked up with an expression of surprise, which quickly melted into a smile when he saw whom it was at the threshold of his office. 

"What are you doing here Tsuzuki-san? Shouldn't you be home already? Won't Hisoka be worried?" Tatsumi asked regaining his equilibrium. He regarded Tsuzuki with a pleasant expression.

The dark haired shinigami smiled and shook his head still not moving inside the office. "Nope. He mumbled something about a date and left. And since everyone else was out and I knew you'd be here I thought that you might want some company…unless you don't want me here." Tsuzuki's voice was cheery and bright until he reached that last sentence. Then his happy expression turned worried and pleading. He wasn't sure whether he was wanted here. Tatsumi was an enigma to him. But to his delight Tatsumi didn't frown, instead he smiled dispelling Tsuzuki's fears. 

"You know you're always welcome here Tsuzuki-san," Tatsumi reminded him gently. With that assurance Happy Tsuzuki was back. He bounced into the room and headed for the one and only couch in the office. He settled into it with a proprietary air that seemed to amuse Tatsumi to no ends. He hugged a cushion to his chest and watched as his friend started to read the paper again. A lot of people would have taken that as a rude dismissal but not Tsuzuki. He knew that Tatsumi simply preferred to work while talking, and that he was unused to people visiting him. And beside that, Tsuzuki didn't want to have Tatsumi pay attention to him. It was nice simply to watch him work. There was just something soothing about watching Tatsumi work.

However, soon Tsuzuki felt a need to fill the silence with some kind of words. Silence made him think too much about things he didn't want to think about. And there was one thing that had been puzzling him since the start of this evening. "I didn't know that Hisoka had a girlfriend," Tsuzuki said with a note of curiosity in his voice. Tatsumi nodded absentmindedly as he signed his name at the bottom of the paper. 

"Boyfriend actually," he corrected inattentively. 

Tsuzuki blinked. His mind shoved aside the melancholic cloud it had been under since the beginning of this morning. This was just too good to pass up. "Boyfriend?" he echoed not shocked merely slightly surprised. Tatsumi looked up with some surprise. 

"Is there something wrong with that Tsuzuki-san?" he questioned pleasantly. Tsuzuki shook his head quickly a slightly foolish grin on his face. 

"It's just a little surprising that's all." 

"I suppose. Although, I can't honestly say that I was surprised when I found out," Tatsumi mused with a small smile turning his head back to his papers. The two lapsed into silence, with the sound of Tatsumi's pen scratching across the papers being the only noise in the room. Tatsumi wasn't ignoring Tsuzuki as such. It was simply in his nature to concentrate on one thing at a time. And currently these papers were what needed to be paid attention to not his ex-partner. Tsuzuki watched as Tatsumi's pleasant expression turned into a thoughtful frown.

Tsuzuki continued to gaze at Tatsumi with wide purple eyes. While a few people might have been intimidated by the secretary's harsh expression, Tsuzuki simply accepted it as normal. He wasn't foolish enough to think that Tatsumi was an all round kind person. When someone got on Tatsumi's nerves, they found out sooner or later, usually in the most painful way possible. Tsuzuki wasn't that naïve. But he knew his ex-partner well enough to know that this was simply one of his quirks.

Just as Tatsumi was reaching for another paper a thought occur to Tsuzuki. It might have been the mention of boyfriends and girlfriends that piqued his interest. Or it might have even been just one of those random thoughts that naturally occur to anyone at some point in their life. And Tsuzuki being Tsuzuki, when he had this thought his mouth spoke before his mind could catch up. 

"Ne, Tatsumi? Do you like men?" 

As soon as those words were out of his mouth Tsuzuki's face flushed bright red and he cringed in anticipation of a loud denial. What on earth had possessed him to ask that, he berated himself. But he was to be surprised. Tatsumi paused in his reading and looked up at Tsuzuki with wide blue eyes. It took a few seconds for the question to register in Tatsumi's mind. And when it did the secretary's cheeks turned pale pink. Tsuzuki watched in utter fascination as Tatsumi opened and closed his mouth several times. He looks like a goldfish, a part of Tsuzuki's mind noted with detached amusement.

"Was there a reason for that question, Tsuzuki-san?" Tatsumi managed to choke out despite his shock. 

Tsuzuki shrugged casually, now seeing that Tatsumi was not about to incarcerate him for his rude question. "I suppose it's because I've always wondered." Tatsumi's expression demanded a more concise explanation. "You've never really had a relationship with any women ever since you started to work here. So I assumed that you liked men."

"Tsuzuki-san, I've never had any relationship with any men either. Doesn't that make you statement rather hypocritical?" Tatsumi was impelled to point this fact out in his usual dry manner. 

Tsuzuki flushed and smiled sheepishly. "Well then I suppose you could call it simple curiosity," he said. His eyes were wide open with seemingly innocent inquisitiveness. When Tatsumi's face softened, a small part of his mind cheered. While it might seem that he was totally oblivious to the affect he had on his ex-partner, that wasn't quite the truth. He knew all too well how his wide eyes worked on the man and when the situation required it he would use that knowledge with ruthless abandon. And this situation definitely required it. 

The corners of Tatsumi's lips curved up in a small smile. "Simple curiosity." Neither his voice nor his face gave anything away. He leaned forward and looked at Tsuzuki with a friendly expression. "What if perhaps I said that I have no particular preferences?" Tsuzuki blinked. That wasn't what he had been expecting. 

"So does that mean you like both?" he hazarded a guess. 

Tatsumi shrugged. "Perhaps it means that I simply do not think that the sex of your partner matters if it's a fulfilling relationship." 

The other man frowned thoughtfully. "Oh. Does that mean you have someone in mind already?" His mind jumped to the next logical question. At least it seemed logical in his mind. To his surprise Tatsumi's face grew redder and he sounded as if he was choking on something. Tsuzuki waited while Tatsumi coughed to clear his throat. 

When he had caught his breath, Tatsumi smiled blandly. "I don't think I should answer that question." Tsuzuki sighed in disappointment. He so wanted to know who had caught Tatsumi's attention. He went through the people at the office wondering who it could be, because there was no doubt that Tatsumi did like someone in the office. But Tatsumi's next question caught him off guard. 

"Which do _you_ prefer Tsuzuki-san?" 

"Eh?" Tsuzuki was, for once, lost for words. And like Tatsumi had done, he blushed a pale pink.

"Do you prefer men to women?" Tatsumi expanded on his question. Tsuzuki was positive that he saw a smirk light up Tatsumi's face. The blue-eyed man seemed to be enjoying Tsuzuki's shock and embarrassment.

Tsuzuki stuttered his way through his answer. "I – You – I don't – I mean…I don't know," he finally blurted out. He was sure that his face was glowing bright red. Tatsumi chuckled softly and began to clean up the papers on his desk. 

"When you have the answer perhaps you will tell me," he said with a bland smile on his face. Tsuzuki's eyes slid to the side hoping that by avoiding Tatsumi's eyes he could avoid any other embarrassing question. It didn't matter that he had been the one to start the conversation in the first place. Tatsumi had just turned the table on him. 

Tsuzuki's unpredictable mind began to wander off into strange territories. Tatsumi's question had caught him off guards and now his mind wouldn't let him do anything but wonder about the answer to that question. But in truth, he really didn't know. It wasn't as if he had ever had time to actually think about things like that. It wasn't as if he'd have the inclination to think about things like that. Tsuzuki methodically went over each and every instant of attraction he had ever felt for anyone. And it still didn't answer anything. He had felt attracted to an equal amount of men and women. Among his list were Maria Wong, Toujou Hisae, Minase Hijiri, and Kurosaki Hisoka[1]. The list was endless. He loved each and everyone he encountered on a mission and he couldn't help it. But what did that mean?

Did that mean there was no one special for him, because he was forever cursed to love everyone, never knowing what it felt like to have that one special person? Did it mean he could never experience what it was like to have that special person holding him close, and feeling completely safe in his or her arms? Tsuzuki shook his head in denial. No it wasn't like that, he thought determinedly. It couldn't be like that. Some where out in the world there was someone who would value him above all others, someone _he_ could value above all other. All he had to do was keep looking. And he would finally find that person. He couldn't give up hope.

A shadow fell across the couch waking him up from his stupor. The dark haired man looked up to find Tatsumi looking down at him with a bemused smile. His eyes strayed to the secretary's desk and found that Tatsumi had apparently finished reading and signing the papers while he had been thinking. He realized with a start that Tatsumi had been speaking to him while his mind had wandered. "…late Tsuzuki-san and I think we should go home. Perhaps Hisoka is home already." Tsuzuki brightened at the last sentence. 

"Maybe he is and he can tell me all about his date," he enthused with a bright smile. Tatsumi's warm chuckle made Tsuzuki smile brighter. It was always a treat to hear Tatsumi laugh in Tsuzuki's opinion. The kagetsukai was usually too serious to ever really relax. But it seemed that the warm night had worked its magic on him. 

"Come along Tsuzuki-san, I'll take you back to your apartment." Tsuzuki stood up eagerly and followed Tatsumi like a little puppy. Tatsumi made sure that everything was in order before closing the lights. The moon was bright enough to guide them out of the office and into the hallway. Tatsumi turned and pulled out a key to lock up the office.

"Oh and I expect an answer to my question soon," Tatsumi couldn't help adding as he closed the door and locked it. Lucky for Tsuzuki, the moon wasn't bright enough to allow Tatsumi to see his face properly. If the shadow master had, perhaps he would have wondered why Tsuzuki blushed bright red. Then again, perhaps he would have known already.

~ * ~ * ~

[1] Maria Wong is the female singer from the first Yami book (I lover her song 'Amethyst Remembrance'). Toujou Hisae is the female dancer from the second book. Minase Hijiri is the kid that looks like Yami Hisoka from the second book. And we should all know Hisoka is by now.

There you go, another one of the Arc. I don't really like this one as much as I do the previous ones. Although a blushing Tatsumi was pretty fun to write. I don't know but I don't think this one was really my best. It's too disjointed, and the conversations were too short to really have any impact. Oh well, it doesn't matter what I think. It's up to you readers to judge the stories. 

Ya know, Tsuzuki is really clueless. There's this completely gorgeous guy who's practically in love with him, sitting in front of him. He doesn't even have to walk three metres to find him. Sometimes I despair of him. I was going to write Tsuzuki angst but somehow I couldn't get into character. I can write Tatsumi, Hisoka, and probably Muraki as well. But for some reason I can't write Tsuzuki, Watari, or Oriya. Actually in Oriya's case it's because I don't know him well enough, haven't met him yet in the manga. But really trying to write Tsuzuki angst was just damn difficult. But I'll keep trying. 

Man I'm beat. Next week school starts. Even though I'm in grade twelve I'm taking a uni subject for the year. Don't ask me why, the only answer I can come up with is that I was either insane or too damn arrogant. I think it's a mix of both actually. Not to mention the fact that I finally got a job as a waitress in a café. So between grade twelve stress, uni studying, and my job I'm not sure I'll be able to keep putting up stories so quickly. Yeah I know, it's not quick enough for most but for me it's been really quick. See, first I conceive the idea, toss it around my head for a bit, finally write it, read through it a day or so later, fix it up, and keep doing that, until I'm satisfied. So yeah, it does tend to take a while. 

Whew, long author's note. Ignore my babbling and whining and go review. Reviews make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. 


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